Shadow Warrior : My Hero Story Diary
Through this course, I have learnt that I am important. It's ok to look after you and love myself. Self love is something that is misunderstood and I believed through programming and the way I was, it was egotistical. This is a very healing thing to do. Self care and knowing what a great person you are. In this world we are told that if we love ourselves and tell people how good we are, its a bad thing and people get upset because it lowers their belief or initiates hate and insecurity. I now believe that i am just speaking about me and all the great things I have done to make myself happy and hopefully in the future help other gain the strength to believe they can do what ever they need to do to have their own inner happiness. I still have a long way to go, and I fall back into the old way, but at least I have the awareness to see that I am truly on the yellow brick road to OZ, knowing that the inner child inside me, did forgive for the cell he was trapped in.
Hero Story 1
I stand here as a confident, successful, man that has grown up and lives by the values I have instilled in myself. These values include being an honest person who has the highest integrity when he wakes up in the morning till he goes to sleep at night. He is a person that you can see has courage to be himself, the strength to live by what he wants in his life. He shows respect and equality to human beings, but he will quite happily recognise when someone has no respect for him or is showing the 7 deadly sins for no reason but them. This is not about me because I am the intelligent, knowledgeable but a person who can see the value of all humans. I always want to give the best and help out as many people as he can, but I knowing myself and knowing the balance within me that I respect myself and keep my power so I can live the happy, free and safe life that I deserve.
My life, I see in my mind that makes me feel this way, is walking down the streets of Fremantle, Western Australia, my home. It may be a place, but the inner feeling of belonging and inner joy is amazing. I stand tall, I dress well and always keeping fit, mind, body and spirit. I can see myself walking around with my confident walk, standing tall, shoulder back with a huge smile on my face. The inner happiness is contagious, saying hello to people, just having chats with random people.
This leads on to my job, my business, my life and especially my social interactions with people. Knowing me, knowing my value and what kind of person I am. I can see I am proud of me as a person, I am not a judgemental person, unless you disrespect me and judge me, If we can be friends, why not.
A great engaging presenter and entertainer, that loves socialising and making people happy, raising funds for charity and entertaining people at trivia nights and live performances as a bass player, people will see the energy I put in just to see happiness within them, but always that happiness is genuine as its what I love to do.
I love aspects of my life, the skills and knowledge that i have acquired over the years like natural therapies, spiritual and personal development, DDPYoga, musical and health knowledge, and my teaching performing, and presenting skills that I have learnt through various media, former employment that has created me and all the experiences I have had.
Then inner knowing, the dark, the light, the person I am. There are things I look at and wonder is that me, well it maybe but that’s just the journey. The wolf, my guide was at the entry of the forest. It was the dark of me. Its something that I will understand and continue to grow and embrace, but I also will be a person that recognises that some of these characteristics.
What do I attract, I attract, great people, like minded people, but importantly I am myself, people accept me, and I am worthy as a person, but I am the prize. I am a great happy person, that is happy to be alive and just be happy. I know when to turn away, as I value my life and my health.
Being free and safe and at peace, each day I am learning about me. There is a shadow warrior inside me that I need to express and understand. There is healthy ego and balanced and helps me but is a part of me and I will be comfortable with all my characteristics and personal traits. I am at peace, free and safe to be the person I am, and live it each day. The feeling is nothing better and is always there in my life.
Hero story 2
What do I want to feel. Its that feeling when I am on stage, that first 3 seconds, the adrenaline rush, just for that hit of happiness. This sets the scene for the day. As I walk down the streets of Fremantle Western Australia, I smile and happy, free and safe. The sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky. The energy I feel flowing through my body as I walk straight tall, breathing in the air and just feeling good. Nothing is impossible, I am living the dream of being me. The little things that I crave, peace within my mind. I am dressed well, confident and nicely groomed, I feel, smell and ooze happiness and confidence. I breath effortlessly and I JUST DO THINGS. I am aware of things, I will be on guard of course but that protecting my power. I am talking to the locals, saying hi, offering help and just being a social butterfly, but the real love is walking by myself and embracing life, I am where I need to be.
My life is full of happiness and joy, every day is a new adventure and I take each day as it is. I plan but we don’t over think the planning as I let things happen when needed, being prepared and in order. When I present or entertain on stage in the presenter or Host/MC capacity, I show showmanship, enthusiasm and knowledge through my words, and only to help others and spread knowledge but also helping myself become a better person. This is the attitude I have when I am treating clients and helping people when in ill health and imbalanced. The care and love and wanting the best is what I wish for all of them as I do for myself.
What do I attract, I attract, great people, like minded people, but importantly I am myself, people accept me, and I am worthy as a person, but I am the prize. I am a great happy person, that is happy to be alive and just be happy. I know when to turn away, as I value my life and my health.
Being free and safe and at peace, each day I am learning about me. There is a shadow warrior inside me that I need to express and understand. There is healthy ego and balanced and helps me but is a part of me and I will be comfortable with all my characteristics and personal traits. I am at peace, free and safe to be the person I am, and live it each day. The feeling is nothing better and is always there in my life.
Hero Story 3
I am the person who walks tall, free and safe. The person who cares about each aspect of my life. A confident knowledgeable respected presenter and professional educator, presenter and mentor of other health and phys ed professionals. I travel and present at various conferences and expos my brand Glitz n glam games and DDP yoga for teachers and students to enhance overall well being. In turn the book AcePhysEd glitz n glam games is so successful and opens up to the world so I travel to other countries for speaking and presenting purposes.
Money is important but the foundation of money and jobs I do are just pieces in the puzzle in my life.Its what we need to do on this earth and to live with piece of mind.
The little boy that is free and safe, a forgiving happy soul that I feel the forgiveness that I use in each situation that comes up in my life. Its about my freedom, happiness and the light feeling of being safe within myself in every situation that comes along. I can feel the blackness but I have that feeling of white light and the sword that reminds me that I am strong, calm, worthy and a person that holds my values close and lives by them each day, towards me and others.
The courage to just do things that in hold close and love, de clutter and have confidence just to walk knowing its safe already because its about me. The confidence and trust to play music and be in a great 80s cover band, village people act and wasp cover show along with all the appearances at social gathering and parties as the energy and entertainment as this high energy confident entertainer and trivia host.
The life every day will be like in Fremantle, my home, where I walk with my daughter as her father and protector. I walk with happiness, walk tall, saying hello, radiating great vibes and inner confidence. A respected healer, musician and teacher that is well known but I just love each day and every breath I take. The enjoyment of being western Australian, supporting the eagles, just being free and attracting like minded people and being a pillar of the community. Anything is possible because its in me.
Hero Story 4
I am a person who is living the life I want to live, by writing down then acting upon those writings. I always live my values and always use them when interacting with others. I am presenting at Physical Education and Health seminars preaching my brand and love for DDPY, Glitz n Glam games for teachers and my journey that inspires others. I am a successful author and presenter of the AcePhysEd glitz N Glam games book that opens up to all health professionals and I speak at seminars and corporate gatherings regards the mindset of why I created these games and what positive effects they have on our children. I also speak and present these games and DDPy at local community groups, workplaces and festivals. I am an advocate of movement is life and finding your way to stay healthy and inspire people to do the same. I also travel the state and country as one of the New Recruits in the capacity of appearances at charity and fundraising events and live festivals helping raise money for charities and workplaces. As a great energetic entertainer I am appearing at events as a member of the village people and warming up crowds doing YMCA and other Hits as well as hosting trivia and retro/Disco nights along with German and Chilli G and at private functions with other bands doing Village People Sets. The whitelighter and natural Healer in me has brought me to a point where I am healing others but helping them as a support to get back on track with the skills of DDPy/ Body Balance Massage and the other skills I have in my batbelt like the native American rituals and traditions, universal laws and reiki practices I am at peace with all that my journey has brought me, so I am living the life I want but also helping others. I have found the balance in all things that I need to be happy. I am a great friend, father and person on this earth that leaves a mark and loved every last minute on this earth.
Thank you
Hero story 5
Its simple, I have to be more for me. The conscious ego telling me that I am owed is full of shit. The Calmness I feel in bed in the morning, the calmness and happiness. I still have the end of victim mentality. Yes, things are hard in your life and things will disappoint you, people will annoy you or they won’t live up to your values. I know that I hold my values high, always have, but I need to live them each day and make people accountable but be the teacher not the person who wants to prove a point. Each day is a challenge, but as I write this message weekly this will remind me on what important, but then I must act on this to change and get rid of the old programming, so I can be the bigger person. I see myself as a successful presenter and professional of Physical education, something I always wanted. I value myself as the author of multiple books, its all about me as I want to leave a legacy. As an entertainer I will give the energy and happiness from inside and I will live my love in entertaining people and making people smile in what ever capacity, trivia host, character appearance, live appearances with the new recruits. It happens, as a natural healer I will help people in many ways with all the skills that I have accustomed over my years. This form of treatment will be fuelled by my new values that I will live for me and give what I can but I can be a teacher for those who need it. The friends and family that will by my side will be people I give it all to as they will for me, but I will help teach the world to be better
Hero Story 6
Today we look at decluttering and having a clear mindset on what I am, what I love and what I want to do. I have done the hard work with getting rid of excess stresses and imbalances. A lot of understanding and answers have come through. I just do what I want to do and instead of pouting to a standard. I will always live my values in life but all my life I must live them and have people live them towards me. I am looking at things from a different perspective and not one of ego filled tap on the back but in a case of the light feeling I have inside in, the sword of forgiveness and the second sword of acceptance. Life is about me and I see what and who really matters. When something comes up or a clean out is needed people show their colours. This is what I have known but now my subconscious will process it and learn to be each day. My life and what I love to do comes into play and now I am in a mindset of doing, and make sure that all pillars in my life are straight, work, play, family, myself and my hobbies and projects. Be smart and live free and safe with courage to be myself and live what I love. Be around people that bring me up, respect others and wish them all the best and help if I can but I am the priority. This is my life thank you.
Hero Story 7
Acceptance and letting things go for my light. My eyes have been opened to what I have been doing. Looking for someone to love me and give me what i have always wanted, true acceptance and being valued and wanted. But now with the sword I hold of total love and devotion to my life and me. Give me the love to me instead of asking it of others, especially those who come to me for help and just take. Not deliberately, but I would like some too. You cant just give I will give that dedication to others to me and get everything I need. I will still be there for others, but its time for me now, and I can see already when light, things arrive easier. I might see people act a certain way or feel it. They aren’t hurting anyone, I just say that’s you, now its my time. Always respect others but give to me as I will. Thank you for where I am today.
Hero Story 8
The story of me and being there for me. The amount of time and effort I put in is amazing, but it was to fuel my pain of being unwanted, unloved and invisible. Now I just made the switch and it was hard, very hard. The change the outlay of negativity and the pain held in and in fear of, now id my power. The sword of values I have, the heal glove is my weapon of choice. The laws governming myself, the way of buddha. I now look at what I am and what I can be and what I am to then move onto what my goals I love can give others. I am a warrior of happiness and a crusader of finding me and what I stand for in this life. I have those dreams that have been surpressed by fear and by the programming of the past that engulfed me and I didn’t understand how to let it go. I used the hurt glove and continue to look at the shadow the forest that walked with the wolf by my side, who has asked me to walk this journey for so long. But I see, I avoided it very well. The pure sun and beach and water that is paradise, the yellow brick road to oz, it all makes sense but I trust me now. So all the things I write down and want to do will come forth if I focus in on me and what I see is working now. No force, just letting it be and when messages come up to complete, I do them then just move on with no connection just satisfaction. Trust in the process and believe in me.
Hero Story 9
Enlightened, light, aware so good. Things are still changing. I guess the story for me is building myself to serve. What are my talents giving to others. All the great things that I have been given as a result of me loving me first. Still got work to do, which is fine but the sword of values that I now hold and being aware of the hurt and heel gloves that I now know how to use. I can connect with all the skills that I have learnt and the connections when I need them.
Each day I look to the connection of to the universe and earth and I can feel myself ascending higher. Being in a safe spot and being allowed to be me is amazing. Yes I know that in the REAL world we have to be careful but then you just walk away and don’t feed into things. Be with your tribe and your brother or sister hood and become better with those that love you. Its an amazing journey. Thank you
Hero Story 10
As it changes as I grow. Its like looking from above and I see a lot more than the average person. I don’t fear anything as I did. I know why all the true messages about what really happened to me. I can now look openly at different subjects like PTSD and Trauma knowing that I have been through this. I don’t go back there but to understand why I act a particular way. All makes sense but to be in a safe place to understand that. In know why I am so intrigued into fantasy. It’s an escape or was because life to me wasn’t the best and this world I clung too was like a life support and an escape. Now being aware and understanding and loving me first, just turning my thoughts. Open to all things that connect me to my life, understanding that the things I have heard of how to be better are exactly all I need, but I must apply them. Protectors, guides and people who truly care will come to you as they have, but funnily when you decide to be invisible, you are seen by so many people, it’s a weird concept but true. I am not being rude or anything, I am just appreciating my energy and protecting me, that’s all. I will always be nice, say hello and help but truly the only thing I come first. If I can’t be no one truly can benefit from my powers when I turn into Superman or any of the characters that are there as protectors, teachers and guides. The lessons that everyone needs and what I went through and still am. Life comes full circle as I feel more in power of my soul than ever. I am here, present and loved.
Entry 11
So here we are in 2021. I have been through 18 months plus of a transformation. A big awakening, a recluse I have had to be. I look at my deep dark secrets and had to release. It comes to the surface and you must take that walk through the forest that is dark and scary, the one you really refrained from making those steps.
The walk was hard, the walk was great, the walk was the one I needed. So simply I have a new superhero costume on. Its me and what I can give to the world, but in saying that, I have to love me and I will. I will protect my energy, I will be accountable and set goals that I can achieve, be open to relaxing the mind and body and of course have the hope inside me that when I walk I have the confidence in myself that I can be free each day. Now I enter back into society with a new attitude and with some new tools that I have. Its just walking the line, the hurt and heal gloves that I have, the sword of values and the belief in what I do. One thing at a time, focus like I do with others, now on me. Each day is a new day and a new chapter of my life and lets just live life like we start to ride a bike. Accept, forgive, no harm, move on, but stand up for you and teach when you speak.
That’s about it as I have the challenge now and I have made that effort but the tools of writing and what I have learnt, I make sure I do this each day and remind myself of the journey I have been on.
Entry 12
So its now that we have this new consciousness its like riding a bike. When you have been locked away for so long, being fearful what can I say. Developing and using my Hurt and Heal gloves and the sword of values, I must not fear what I have had. I have a choice of what happens, it will not go that way if I don’t want it too. This is with anything. Yes I was a go getter but where was I coming form in my mind, I still had fear of loss and fear of failure and hurt and lack of self confidence. Don’t worry these still come about but I come this way now, I am worthy visible and accepted but loved by me and those who want to around me must accept that as I accept them. They will get the world believe me but I need the world as well because I wont be happy. Go into situations that you like with eyes open but with a positive open mind and a protection that is there but not negative its just like a detector. I see how much I hung on too, my dreams, my ideal life, I let that go as best I can now. If I fall I just ask for help and get up. I will stay aware of the things I love by writing them each day as well what a great person I am. Thank you
Hero Story 13
So new world new thoughts, new perspective. I haven’t felt like this and in some ways I am getting used to this new world of standing up for myself. I still recognize and am accountable for what I do, as I write these stories each week. You have a story and you have a choice on how its written, its comes down to how you develop as a human being and as your own person. Great to have dreams, but we must seriously take steps to make them happen. When you realize that you are sabotaging yourself through past programming and fear of negativity. Just be, be honest and what ever happens will be but you must be happy I know that. You can make others happy with the gifts you have but if you can give and receive love, whats the point. I was only anxious about missing out because I was waiting for the break and not doing things for me and detaching from the situation. I didn’t speak up because of fear of drama, I had so much I didn’t realise. But being accountable for being better and stepping away from society and being aware of my ego and how it was being influenced. I had truly nothing but in saying that I have done a lot in my life. I just get tired, I have been tired. Now I must be there for me and family and my friends, but I come first because I must be in balance to assist my true friends and develop the gifts I have to give to others. Always be grateful, accountable, accepting, forgiving and let it go. Yes I have issues with I believe people who have hurt me and I have to get closure in some way and because I know I am very private I still have to work out what and how to act in society, not being fake, just protected. I see this today.
Hero Story 14
So the awareness of this new world is amazing. Its scary in some ways only because you are in a different zone, attracting different people and being aware of what you are. The way people are opening up and it’s a funny feeling in some ways that I am a teacher and I am speaking my story, but I am speaking my truth. I have had experiences these last few weeks that have tested this but as the new hero with a sword of values, a hurt and heal glove and bat belt full of gifts of help I say I am more than what I was. I don’t owe anyone anything. I will give people everything that unconditional have shown me respect and help. I have done that. I see that people have their own journey but that doesn’t give them the right, or me the right to make people feel like crap. I just walk away. My next lesson is still working on people who have hurt me or have no respect. The inner anger is still there, but as I did with the deepest cut I must find that answer to let go. Be me be alive and love life. I am helping I have found the gift of giving and I am just loving me. I am making sure I remind myself of what I am and remember the great people of this world that help you everyday.
Hero Story 15
So what do I learn this week. I need to let go and unlearn everything in know. I was scared of that, I thought I would have to let go over everything I have. I have that small fear of loss, because I jnow I shouldn’t be connected to my material things, but enjoy them and I worked hard for them. I own everything. I saying that that says to me that its reprogramming the way to live as a human being and be aware and change and remember to control my ego and be proud of what and who I am.. if I do harm to others I will apologise not sell my soul. Truly believe in my heart I am the best I can be, not let anyone annoy me and take me out of balance, be a teacher but express my disappointment but don’t let it engulf me like a flame. This is healthy because I am protecting myself with the shield, stepping away, but reaction is still big imbalance and effect on me. So lets avoid that. Be me and be happy and talk to people that are part of my tribe, respect others which is fine and part of things, but I am the centre of my own universe. This is not an ego driven thing, it’s a life that I love and I will live like that, Zen energy theory, Buddhism principles, Again I will be aware, and change, let it go and be new. Wayne Dyer says it all.. why worry, we cant control anything, we can only make the change and do what we can.
Hero Story 16
As hard as it is, my hero story this week is simply saying I must be me, regardless. I must be the hero I want to be. All the good I have learnt, absolutely want that to happen, but we must balance that with looking after my spirit and soul. Be a hero to myself, as I am the only one that can be, no one else can be. To pull myself out of the hole I continually fall into. Its ok to fall but it takes inner strength to keep going and I must do that. Summon it all and just stop doubting me and believe I am truly the best, a good person and someone that is visible and a person of strength and love, a warrior and leader. I can be that way, the kryptonite, the giving of love by someone, I haven’t had it so I just take it without thinking or people turn. I know I am definitely to play here but theres ways I would go about it and I am a superhero of value and I will be for the good of my family and honest to me as I need to be me. I feel stupid at times and defenceless but I have been through more than a lot and I am a warrior and I will be to the end, whenever that is.
Hero Story 17
I changed up my story this week. I have felt a lot of awareness but also a leaving process. Emotionally and spiritually I am feeling a big shift. I have to stop letting people get to me, negative thoughts are still around. The way I look at it now is not victim in some ways but respect, I have to be able to get over people and the negative vibration I feel from them. It’s awareness for me as I said. I get too disempowered by people because of their not caring or total ignorance to disrespectful acts. They don’t think so but you must be aware that I feel and now I am coming into the forest of fears I must walk with white light, the ego must be controlled and I must do things to stop the spread of negativity in my body. I know this. So my hero story is to be better and be aware of my words, actions and responses and just don’t care and let things be. Just as Wayne dyer says, why worry and you just need to let it go and you have a choice in how you are. I know what I need to be. Entertainer, yes out there and happy as I would be, private, happy and contented within myself and my journey and really let go of the last hurt that has formulated these programs and reactions within me.
Hero Story 18
I have been a hero in my life, because I have done it myself. Everything I have accomplished, with some assistance which I am grateful for but nether the less I did it. I say this I am proud of everything, but now it seeing the new world, my world, where I must be a leader not someone who who just does. Don’t give me power away, of course I wont. Its new and honest with where I am. I see the deep feeling that have haunted me and now I know have rules me because I didn’t know. As my hero I rescue myself from this. Being aware now, and understanding why, so I can move on. It might be mad, but that’s life I need to know or have some answer. Step away be with those who understand and become more as a human being. The hardest lesson is dealing with society, but I CHOOSE when I have to.
Hero Story 19
So here we are with awareness and growing into this warrior. I know I am as I am seeing a lot of the things that made me the anxious, untrusting person that lived in a shadow of himself. I am starting to say I am intelligent, I am respected but truly believing it. We go through the “oh my I have wasted my life… “, no you can educate the next generation. I am still learning, but the ego is getting under control. Now its just making the subtle changes where needed. I can see the future as the person I wanted to be at the start of this particular journey. Free, safe and at peace. I am not at peace at the moment as I am still dealing with the tidal wave of emotions I have uncovered. So the case of me now is being free safe and at peace in my head and spirit and all will come after that. The external is a replica of my inside. That’s the next stage. Its bloody painful and uncomfortable but here we go.